you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
