party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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