and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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