so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
