GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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