there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
