stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
