This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
