my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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