Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
