The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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