Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
