You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No subtext here. People are naked.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
