Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize