with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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