just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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