I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Drake has all the answers
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
