I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i permit you to call me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
