I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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