If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
