There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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