its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
