It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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