i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
