Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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