it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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