The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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