Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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