i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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