The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize