Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
