She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
