Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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