Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
