Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
