I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
