I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
