It's like God shit irony all over that family
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need water and some morals
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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