I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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