I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
