im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
