I think scott just propositioned me for sex
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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