Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
