therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dear god my vagina.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
