In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
