I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
