Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
