I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
