i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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