Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
