also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
