AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
