sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
