i may or may not be watching the land before time
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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