I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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