my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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