in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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