I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I skipped work to stalk him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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