I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize