Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.