I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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