I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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