This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
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My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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