Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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