im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize