i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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